You Feel Like Home to Me

Cars rush by on NW 86^th Street, taking employees home for the evening, shoppers out to one of the many stores in the area, or kids out to their little league games. As they speed past, many are no doubt oblivious to the small strip mall set off a little ways behind the old Cobblestone Theatre. And for the most part, they have no reason not to be. The buildings are typical 80s or 90s shopping center construction with no character, based on a “build it and they will come” concept that assumes “they” don’t really give a crap what “it” looks like. As the final icing on the cake, the parking lots don’t connect between parts of the development, requiring a meandering frontage road to traverse between stores. No, most of the travelers probably aren’t missing much here.

Most of the businesses fit the mold of the forgotten strip mall. There’s a clothing store that is already closed for the day, an interior design place and a hobby shop that interested people will find somehow, rather than attracting passersby, and what looks like a neighborhood bar if only we were in a neighborhood and not a neutered beige structure of concrete and brick. There is however, one storefront that is worth checking out, although it looks no different on the outside from the place as a whole. Ted’s Coney Island West, the suburban offshoot of what has become a Des Moines classic.

I grew up in the Chicago suburbs, but that doesn’t really mean what many people think it means. It’s assumed that I’m a huge Chicago Cubs fan, when in reality I have been to just as many Cubs games as Sox, or for that matter Kane County Cougars or Schaumburg Flyers. And I enjoyed them all equally. It really blows some minds when I respond by saying that I kinda like both of the city’s pro teams, but it’s the truth. And then there’s the food. Everyone is familiar with the concept of Chicago-style pizza, and the logic follows that since I am from Chicago* I must absolutely love it. Sadly, not true, and when I explain this I get the funny looks that I assume indicate doubts about my roots.

*I realize that Elgin is, in fact, not Chicago. Most of my fellow Iowans do not. This is reality, and I have come to accept that for many, I grew up in “Chicago.” Close enough.

However, there is one Chicago area staple that I really do love and have missed since I moved out of state. And, ironically enough, most people have either not heard of it or assume it’s nothing special, which makes the whole conversation even more awkward. After explaining that I like the Cubs and Sox equally, and that I don’t really care for Chicago-style pizza, I’ll quickly add that I do really love Chicago-style hot dogs, though. That is usually greeted by a quizzical expression and a question of what a Chicago dog is, or just “a hot dog? Really???” (To be perfectly honest, no one has ever reacted with those exact words, but I can see it in their eyes when they smile and nod).

For the sake of completeness, I’ll now explain what a Chicago-style hot dog is and what makes it special, rather than simply directing everyone over to its own Wikipedia article. The Chicago dog requires the following: a Vienna Beef hot dog on a steamed poppyseed bun, topped with mustard, pickle relish, chopped onion, tomato wedges and a pickle. Not vitally necessary, but definite bonuses are if the relish is neon green, and a sprinkling of celery salt on top. Optional are wedges of cucumber and small sport peppers. Finally, and perhaps most importantly is this – thou shalt not put ketchup on a Chicago-style hot dog. Since I’m a nice guy, probably the worst I will do is ruefully shake my head at you if you commit this offense, but others might not be so lenient.

And, in case you’ve never had one of these dogs, they are absolutely great. One of the best food concoctions of our time. And something I grew up with, either making them at home for a Sunday afternoon lunch, or as a night out at Portillo’s alongside a chocolate malt. That all changed when I moved the 600 miles west to Iowa, or so I thought. For six years of college, I only ate real hot dogs on occasions when I was home to visit. Then we moved to Des Moines, and my wife discovered both Chicago Dog and Deli, and the aforementioned Ted’s Coney Island. By this time I had converted her to become a true hot dog connoisseur, so she shared my excitement at testing the locals against the true Chicago barometer.

Well, to make a long story short (or not), Chicago Dog and Deli was good, but the buns were big and doughy and did not seem to be steamed. I was still reasonably happy with a close alternative, until we tried Ted’s. Ted’s Coney Island, located in a unique Alpine style shop on Ingersoll Avenue, serves up a Chicago-style hot dog almost as good as Portillo’s and in fact even better than some other competitors back home. I chowed it down with gusto, loving every bite and simultaneously kicking myself for not realizing Ted’s had been here all along.

Ted’s Coney Island is a fair ways from our condo out here in West Des Moines, so we decided to give the western location a shot the other day. Perhaps it’s the vanilla shopping center it resides in, but something seemed to be missing from the dog. No doubt about it, it was still great to have a Chicago-style hot dog here in Des Moines, but it seemed to lack the punch of the original Ted’s. It’s probably worth the minor inconvenience to travel a little farther to get to the best dog I can. And considering how far away I thought a real Chicago dog was, going to downtown Des Moines isn’t that far.

So as the sun started to fall a little into the western sky, and as the travelers zipped along to whatever destination they had in mind, there I was, sitting in a booth with my wife and having a taste of home. To the oblivious drivers, there probably wasn’t much to see in the nearby strip mall, but for me it was the culmination of a multiyear search to find the best thing I think Chicago puts out. Well, except for the Bears, maybe. J